Things I've Learned (originally posted December 20, 2015)

Tonight I’m sitting in the dark in my bedroom at the Mothership. I’ve been living here for about eight weeks while my little family restructures. It’s been tough. Not gonna lie. But tonight I’m smiling as I’m reflecting on things that I’ve learned through all of this. Journaling about it doesn’t cut it for me - I need people to see it and for it to be out there, so my 350 “friends” will now have access to my vast wisdom brought on by earth-shattering life choices. Here goes . . .

• My mom can still see with the eyes in the back of her head.
• My parents are growing older, and I need to be here more for them - not just physically but emotionally as well.
• My niece is getting bigger, and she needs her auntie around a lot.
• No matter how small the room, the kids and I can pile in and sleep peacefully for at least six hour stretches.
• Sleeping bags rule. They also make good comforters and pillows if you’re running low.
• I’ve neglected a lot of things/people throughout the course of my adult life, and it’s high time that I pay attention.
• Shattered relationships with siblings can be mended.
• Stuff that at once was very out of routine can eventually become routine.
• Doubling a crocpot recipe is perfect for two families.
• Every little bit helps.
• Being alone is sometimes necessary.
• My son loves spending time with family.
• Bubble baths are absolutely necessary.
• Friends are just as important as family.
• Some people can truly be objective . . . and some people couldn’t be objective if their lives depended on it.
• How to jump my car when the battery died.
• How to patch holes in concrete steps.
• How to change a storm window in the front door.
• Major life changes can leave you breathless and panicky.
• Therapy is an absolute necessity for anybody.
• Lavender. 24/7

1. Look around you. I guarantee you that over half of the married women you see are feeling unloved, unappreciated, or hurt. More than half of the marriages - even the ones that look right - are falling apart . . . some without either partner even realizing it.
2. That last one up there is one I want you to really pay attention to. I say this because divorce is tragic. It’s painful and will likely scar everyone involved, and yet staying in a painful relationship can cause scars just as deep or deeper. If you can recognize this in your own marriage, be brave enough to set aside your own ego and get help before it ends up in a disaster that cannot be resolved. If you know somebody who is struggling in their marriage, reach out. It’s so difficult for me to reach out to people and ask for help. When people extend their hand to me, I grab hold and cry. I need that support, and so do others around us.
3. The holidays are hard for broken families. Look around and take care of your friends who aren’t strong enough to reach out. Invite them to your gatherings. Call them to wish them a good holiday. Send them Christmas cards even if you don’t know what to say to them. Buy them gifts. Love on those who are hurting this season. It may the only thing keeping them going.