If there are two pieces of advice that I would give any newly married couple, it would be to communicate and to emote. Any advice I’d give a couple who is starting to disconnect? Communicate and emote. Honestly, I don’t know which one is more powerful. I know the absence of both destroyed my marriage, and I’d do anything. Anything (except my two beautiful children). To go back in time and fix that.
I now know that I’ve held back communicating negative emotions to just about everybody. Don’t get me wrong, I can bitch with the best of them to you, but if I have a beef with you, I clam up and find a safe place to release . . . . or I don’t and I let it well up inside until I unleash a serious, destructive 41-year-old tantrum. Which is exactly what I’ve done.
If you choose not to emote, you actually harm your relationship with the person who should be receiving the emotion. And you chisel away at it until it breaks or crumbles. Don’t do that. Expressing emotions to the right person and communicating your needs is IMPERATIVE in order to have a solid relationship with that person.
That is all.
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