You know those weeks when Monday looms, and you feel like you will never catch up? The weeks where Satan whispers lies in your ear all week long until you feel limp and depleted? When Sunday hits, you know you need to go to church, but it’s all you can do to even put on clothes, let alone put a smile on your face, pick up your Bible, and drive there?
That’s what my week has been like this week. I’ve had mad challenges, PMS, family in from out of town, my grandmother’s memorial service, a memorial luncheon for forty plus people to help with, four hours of sleep last night, and then today I’m looking at my spring piano recital where I’m likely to host eighty or more people at church with a reception afterward – and where my husband was always dependable to help out, today is my first big event without that support. Somebody posted a meme today on Facebook that described me perfectly: “I suppose there are two types of tired: one is a dire need of sleep, and the other is a dire need of peace.” Yeah, that would be me – tired squared.
So after finding this on Facebook as well (you can see where I get most of my news and inspiration when I’m feeling like a deflated balloon): And God said, "I know you are feeling worn out...but I AM using you because I know I can depend on you to carry my will out. Hold on...help is on the way." I made a plea myself that went something like this: God, give me strength today. If there was ever a day I thought you've misjudged me, it's today... seriously in need of prayer warriors today.
We have all heard the saying God will never give you more than you can handle right? Well, that was the inspiration for my plea. Lord, you’ve misjudged me. I’m wrung out. Dead weight today. I got nothin’. I don’t care how many Diet Dr. Peppers I drink – there’s nothing left of me.
I cried on the way back from the airport to drop off my cousin at six a.m. I cried all through worship service at church. And wouldn’t you know it? Mark Miller, bless that man, made me cry today during his message at church as well. No, not cry. Weep. I almost fell out of my chair when he said today, “We’ve all heard the saying God will never give you more than you can handle right?”
I’m pretty sure that the entire right side of the sanctuary heard me suck in my breath. Has he been on my Facebook page? I thought. But God was wrong. He has misjudged me. I can’t do this anymore. I’m out. For real, God. I’m out.
Mark continued, “Well, I’m here to tell you that just isn’t true.”
Wait, what?
By this time I was already sitting straight – huge tears making their familiar trails down my cheeks once again. It was clear that God had a message for me today. So Mark continued and said that if God only gave us stuff we could handle, how would we grow? He has to push us past our comfort zone into our breaking point because if he didn’t we would stagnate. Mark calls it #divinedisruption – an experience that “challenges our assumptions” and “tears down barriers that have once blocked us from God’s great love”. It is a challenge that we just couldn’t foresee. Once we stretch to handle it, we grow and become stronger. Better. And people follow us and become stronger and better. Mark said that the first steps in making big changes are the scariest, and in some instances, those are the steps that some never take. You cannot grow without taking that first step.
And all of a sudden that once positive message God never gives you more than you can handle became a message of stalling – stagnation, and I no longer wanted to consider it an option. Not that I’m begging for God to heap a large helping of #divinedisruption on my head, but if that’s what I need to become a better me, than I open my hands in a gesture of receiving instead of wrapping them around what was and hanging on with white knuckles. I cast Satan off my shoulder in the name of Christ and face Monday with positivity and anticipation that life is about to get good. Change is a comin’. I’m gearing up for my big steps. From Him I derive my strength to move forward. Bring it, Lord.
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