In a recent discussion with a professional in the psychology field, I was
challenged to dig into and explore my core values to make some life-altering
decisions. I think when we plow through life, we make decisions based upon our
past experiences and our present situations and rarely get an opportunity to
weigh what we should do based upon our core values.
I was surprised to discover that I struggled with the idea of core values
itself and had to actually do a google search to wrap my head around what they
really were. In essence, our core values are what we believe to be of the
utmost importance and the foundation of how we live our lives. Examples given
ranged anywhere from religion to work ethic to relationships.
So this got me thinking about parenting and educating – to me these are one
in the same. So often we get wrapped up in rearing children so much that we lose focus of what our values are and develop the sheep syndrome of
following what society thinks we should be doing.
Just log into any number of social media sites, and you are inundated with
memes, statuses, and articles that run the gamut of parenting and educational philosophies – some of which are considered “too eccentric” or
“unorthodox”. On the opposite side of the
spectrum, messages about how life was so much better “back in the day”
also pepper my news feed. It’s downright confusing, even for a woman of forty-one!
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve caught
myself repeating things that were said to me thirty or thirty-five years
ago by my own parents. But are these messages that I send to my children my
own messages? Or are they messages sent by years of history or societal values? Even after being a parent for over twelve years, I’d
never considered this.
I stopped and wrote that night after really
considering what I want for myself and, more importantly, my
children. During my writing session, I came up with a list of seven qualities and characteristics that I felt truly epitomize how I
currently live and how I want my children to live: motherhood and the ability to
nurture, love and friendship, confidence, mindfulness, perseverance, curiosity, and independence. After prioritizing the list, I also wrote a little bit about
why I chose each one, and I reflected on how I am currently raising my
children. Am I using these values to
drive my parenting? Are these values something I am able to reflect in
my interactions with my children and the people around me?
Yes, actually. I can’t say that they have
been, but now that I’ve pinpointed what I believe to be my fundamental
driving force, I think I can move forward with a more focused approach to how I plan to guide my two children. Without a doubt, I will be making some small changes in my approaches to their education
and life learning along with my overall
interactions with them.
But most importantly, without a
doubt, I can now move forward in my own life and make some decisions based
upon my own core fundamental beliefs. For I think that once you make
choices based upon those foundations, you can’t look back years later and say you wished that you had done something differently. The
decisions are now made based upon what is solely inside of you and not your present situation.
Have you ever given yourself the opportunity to
make a physical list of your core values? If not, give it a try. It’s kind of
grounding to be that aware of why you make certain choices, and it will make you more mindful of how
you move forward on this amazing road of life. No
matter your race, religion, ethnicity, social status - what better model to
give your children than to show them that you can live your life being mindful of your core values.
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