Take my son, for example. My little monkey is ten years old, and he's been bowling on a league for a little over a year. He loves it, and it gives him a solid connection with his dad (also a bowler). But Z lacks focus - I mean, he IS ten. But he's the kind of ten that causes public educators to count the years before retirement. He's not mean or evil or belligerent. He's intelligent, sarcastic, witty, and he eats sugar and caffeine for breakfast - even when I monitor his food intake.
So bowling for him is a crap shoot. You never really know which Z you will get on a bowling day, and his games are inconsistent. One game is a 90, and the next one a 147. Again, he's ten, but he's also used to doing stuff well, and working at something cramps his style. So he gets angry and frustrated. And then his dad tries to help by instructing, which - nine times out of ten - only irks him more.
Z doesn't lack skill. He lacks focus and has a big ego. This idea of focus is a universal idea with many facets. Years ago when I practiced mindfulness, we used to ground ourselves by bringing ourselves into the now and focusing on our senses, meditating on a mantra, or visualizing. This worked okay, but it lacked depth and love. Today I pray. I cry out to my mighty, loving Father out loud or in my head when I need to maintain focus, fall asleep, relax, or basically do anything I either don't want to do or don't have the strength or the will to do. I have to humble myself, understand that I'm not in charge, and let my ego go. And guess what. It works. Every time.
So I decided one day that I would try it with him. I have been sharing my answered prayers list with this boy for years, so he knows that I believe in the power a prayer can pack. And when something blows my mind, I make sure to share it. He believes it's real, but I don't think he comprehends the magnitude of God's grace. During a bowling practice, I grabbed him gently and told him that if I were planning to do something I loved as much as he loved bowling, I would stop, take a deep breath, and say a short prayer asking God to help me to do my best. Before every ball. And it works. His focus significantly improves, which leaves room for skill to take over, and WOW, can he bowl!
One Tuesday this summer I couldn't be there to watch him bowl, which means that I couldn't pray behind him and remind him to "use our strategy". His dad sent me a text telling me how terribly Z was bowling, and I responded, "Hey, remind him about 'the strategy' he and I use to get focused."
My ex-husband isn't a believer and had no idea what I was talking about, but about thirty seconds later I received his response. "lol he got a strike!"
Of course he did. And his dad was encouraging him to pray without even knowing!
This last Tuesday, Z was bowling poorly - ended his first game under 100, and he was really frustrated. Dad was trying to help Z "find his mark" - whatever that means, and the little storm cloud appeared over his shaggy head. I got up quietly and went down to him, sulking on the chair by the lane. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and whispered this prayer, "Heavenly Father, we thank you for the time here today and for the opportunity to bowl and to have Mommy and Daddy here to watch. We know that you can hear us, and Z is super frustrated right now. Help him to get focused and play his best. In your son Jesus Christ's name, Amen."
And he bowled a strike.
Prayer doesn't mean that you can get on your knees and ask God to change your situation or to bend a situation in your favor. It doesn't mean you can ask God to change a person or to win a game or to be better at bowling. It means that you can ask for change in you. You can ask God to help you be more focused and to learn or improve your skills. Prayer is connecting with God, and God wants you to become a better person every day - every hour - every minute. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you' - this is the Lord's declaration - 'plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" You can't accept that unless you humble yourself before your Creator and let go of yourself. That's what Z is learning. That's what I'm learning. I'm learning that through prayer, miracles can surface that I never knew even were possible.
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