I am kintsugi

Last summer I heard a message at church that introduced to me the word kintsugi. I had been unfamiliar with he word, as I am not an artist, not really an appreciator of fine art, nor am I huge into Japanese culture. In fact, it's funny how things stand out to me in a church message that may or may not have anything to do with what the message was really about, but that's what I took from it. I love hearing others' take on messages that we hear together, and what spoke to them and what didn't.

http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/05/kintsugi-the-art-of-broken-pieces/

Kintsugi is a Japanese method of repairing pottery with an adhesive or laquer mixed with gold powder. Instead of hiding the cracks, the cracks are enhanced with gold lines. The idea is to bring out the breakage as a part of the piece's history but to create a more beautiful piece than how it began.

Today I was reading in Colossians 3:14. The verse says, "But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection." Since hearing the message last summer, I've always believed that I could relate easily to kintsugi, but what I see this morning is exactly what finally made me who I am today. For my entire life, I put on things that I thought were love. I filled my piece of pottery with lust, success, acceptance, temporary happiness, material things, people, food, money, vacations, my children, social media, etc. It was like I was filling it with things that rotted, got old, got eaten by the dog or my kids, or shattered when the piece finally broke from too much careless use.

It wasn't until I either had to toss the piece in the trash, thus destroying myself completely, or put it back together that I realized that something needed to change. I'd never be the same anyway because I was broken, and for whatever reason, God found me shortly after I had been lying on the floor in pieces trying to pull myself together enough to decide on the next steps.

So little-by-little, step-by-step, piece-by-piece - when I finally conceded to bend to His will, His perfect love, the bond that can never be broken, began sealing gaps and putting the pieces back together. Pottery cannot fix itself after it is broken. Just like we cannot fix ourselves after we are broken. Without the help of the one true God, I was looking at either trying to do it myself (which happens to those of us who are ashamed and do not want to bring our faults to light) or relying on our support people. Friends, I don't care how many amazing support people I had, it was not going to work until I allowed God to do His work and mix that cement with the gold dust of His love.

So I did.

And here I am. Kintsugi.